the right thing to do

fall slowly.....or hold back?

do you know what is the right thing to do? each time you do something, how much do you give a damn about whether or not that thing is the thing you should or shouldn't do? or you never really cared of the consequences of the things that you have done?

you know what they say, if something you did was the right thing to do, your heart will come to ease.

so, if what u did or if any of your decisions made yourself or your heart feels sad,
WAS IT REALLY THE RIGHT THING TO DO?

then, there's this thing called SACRIFICE. how do we really know when is the right time to make sacrifices? and when is the time that we really really need to put ourselves as our number 1 priority rather than thinking about others first? (in other words, being selfish).

and..who understands those words anyways.. they are so BIG, so big that sometimes people run away from them. love and sacrifice...they are sooo big that sometimes people THINK they know the MEANINGS but in REALITY the DON'T. love and sacrifice. even worse, not all of us believe in these words..me? at this moment, i really don't know what to and what not to believe.really.

and you know..SINCERITY and HONESTY..who are we to judge the people around us and be sure that someone is sincere and honest or the other way around? i used to think that it doesn't matter if other people are not sincere and honest as long as i know that i am sincere and honest with myself and with others..and, apparently i am not sincere and honest enough la kot, since it only brings me this 'far'?

you know what else they say,, honesty is the best policy.. :)

ah, I just wanna be NORMAL.but, who can really define what normal is anywayss???
I don't wanna have TRUST ISSUES, i don't wanna just DREAM, i don't wanna get and give FALSE HOPES.... okay..i need to be PATIENT!!! fuhhhhhh *breathing in deep*

okay..that's enough for now..i don't know why this entry is in english..(excuse my not so canggih & not so betul english kay?)


Dear friend,

I just need some more time for myself. and I want to give YOU all the time you need too.
even though sometimes I sooo wanna be selfish and try win YOU, I don't think that is the right thing to do either..so, I wasn't lying to YOU when I said I really don't know what to do. and we both know, the past has been affecting us in lots lots and lots of ways..I just know that, I am thankful that YOU found me, and it was a pleasure knowing YOU. and it has been AMAZING. and I know you said YOU are not going anywhere, but the ugly truth is, we don't know the future.. the future is not in our hands..we both know the drill.."usaha+doa+tawakkal"..but hey, whatever happens in the future...just remember to be thankful to Allah for He and only He knows what is BEST for us.

and I am afraid to lose the people I love.
and I am afraid if I were to be totally honest with you, that I'd lose you.
and I know this can be very hard, but I will try my best to make it easier for you.
and I wanna deny everything as much as I wanna confess everything.
and I am gonna miss you, my friend.
and I am sad since that moment we decided THIS.
so, I am not sure what is going on.haha.


and I am just a girl, and YES, I think too much.
and YES, I can write so many things about this. but I have to stop.



whatever weyhh. haha. I'm strong. I'll get through this.

byebye peepz. thanx for reading. lol.